This year’s Labour Party Conference is to begin in the wake of many things. Brexit. Austerity. Factionalism. Antisemitism. A better-than-expected election performance from Labour.

Here are ten things Labour members might hope for when the conference begins this Saturday:

  1. The Jewish Labour Movement’s rule change is passed by Labour members.
  2. Factional politics won’t dominate.
  3. The McDonnell Amendment won’t come to pass.
  4. An even better speech from Jeremy Corbyn than last year’s effort.
  5. Speakers won’t be heckled.
  6. The mainstream media won’t be treated like pariahs.
  7. Labour’s elected talent will be highly visible.
  8. The party will emerge with a clearer narrative about how it will take the country forward.
  9. ‘Things can only get better’ will not be played at any point, unless ironically.
  10. John Piennar will reprise his karaoke stardom.

Readers will make their own judgements about the likelihood of all ten of these hopes being realised…